Your eyes stray beyond the Beast Released column to an intriguing advert…

Are you looking for a cute new pet but don’t want it to be too cute? Do you want to add a little danger to your life, but not too much? Well, look no further than the Pocket Purple Worm™! It’s all the fun of a purple worm without all the danger! With a Pocket Purple Worm™, you can dig through solid rock! Great if you want to do some landscaping, or build an underground bunker!

Your worm will also be able to act as a guard while you sleep! With it’s powerful bite and tail stinger, those burglars won’t come anywhere near your valuables!

Get your worm today and we’ll throw in all the necessary accessories: a pocket for your worm so it doesn’t slither off and bite anyone at the dog park, worm feed so your little one doesn’t starve, and a special worm terrarium made of a special clear adamantium alloy that simulates life in the wild for your worm! Of course, you can live without all of these extras but why not make your pocket purple worm as happy as possible! Pocket Purple Worm™! Get yours today!

Pocket Purple Worm™ is not responsible for any injuries sustained while caring for and raising your worm. Pocket Purple Worm™ training provided at extra cost. Antidote for pocket purple worm poison sold separately.